Right now, this is the best time of my life. The Raymond from five years ago would kill for what I have. And that’s a pretty good feeling.
The stars aligning
Family
I’ve got two amazing kids. They’re healthy, they’re happy, and that’s a win right there. My parents and in-laws? They’re an incredible support system, always there to help with the little ones. It makes a huge difference. We even have a helper who’s actually, well, helping. Doing more good than harm, which is a big deal.
We’ve settled into a rhythm, my wife and I. We’ve learned to navigate the chaos, to work with the exceptions. It means we both get to have our own lives outside the family bubble – professional pursuits, social time. It’s a balance, and it’s working.
Professionally
My new startup? It's where I get to call the shots, influence everything. That kind of agency is intoxicating. Go-to-market, growth, sales – these were completely new territories for me, an introverted geek. But I’m finding my flavor, my way of tackling them.
There’s this feeling, right now, like I’m further along than ever before. You can sense that product-market fit lifting things up. Customers are happy, and even better, they're bringing me new ones. That’s a truly great feeling. And being able to charge for value, not just effort? That was a revelation.
When the business has a surplus, it means I can reinvest. Hiring, cutting-edge courses, tools, using LLMs, bringing in contractors to handle the stuff that drains my energy – it’s all possible. No more relying on savings, no more scrambling for external grants. And perhaps best of all, no more begging for customers. It feels... earned.
Self
This is where the biggest transformation has happened. I started medication to manage my ADHD, and honestly, it’s been transformative for my mental health and my productivity.
I'm embracing a "play to play" mentality with my business, not just "play to win." It shifts the whole dynamic. I’m building reading and exercise into my routine, slowly but surely. And gardening – that’s a new one. Tending to my chilies, Thai basil, peppermint, eucalyptus, ground cherry, iceberg lettuce, xiao bai cai – it’s how I unwind at night. Weeding, nurturing, watching things grow. It’s simple, but it’s powerful.
Not all sunshine and roses
There are still problems. Of course there are.
Family
Every day brings new challenges with growing kids. They’re constantly changing, constantly pushing boundaries. And I worry. I worry about the environment they’re growing up in. Geopolitics, that’s a big one. And honestly, I’m not a huge fan of the Singapore education system – it feels a bit too factory-like.
The biggest challenge here is finding that balance: spending meaningful time with my kids versus growing my business. It’s a constant juggle.
Professionally
The imposter syndrome is real. It’s huge. I look around and think everyone else has it more figured out. Often, it turns out that’s not true, but it doesn't make the feeling go away. There’s a constant, nagging fear that I’ll somehow screw it all up, and the customers will just leave. Poof.
I still struggle with the balance between creating value and extracting value. Extraction is a new muscle I’m trying to build. And I haven't quite cracked the code on creating my own growth lever, something I can crank up or down at will. Building a highly effective organization, hiring the right people – these are still big challenges.
Self
My finger. RSI. On the worst days, it can completely cripple me, sinking me into a spiral of depression and anxiety. It’s a real and constant threat.
And despite all the good, I still struggle to take my ADHD meds to kickstart the day. The discipline required to keep reading and exercise consistent in my routine? That's still a battle.
Work in progress
It’s a work in progress. But it's a hell of a ride. And that's something worth being happy and contented about.
So, yeah. Challenges. We've all got them. But let’s be honest. When I look at the big picture, most of my "problems" are, well, good problems. They're the kind you have when you're actually building something, when you're growing, when you're truly privileged.
And I know I am. Super privileged. That’s not lost on me.
With a little more road behind me, a few more years under the belt, I’m starting to get this quiet confidence. Not arrogance, just a sense that whatever life throws my way, I’m probably going to figure it out. Or at least, I'll know how to take a swing at it.
Learning what I can influence and what I can’t, that's been a game-changer. Picking my battles. It helps focus the energy, cuts down on the anxiety and fear. It’s like clearing out the mental clutter. I always thought this kind of calm, this mental state, was something you only really hit in your forties. Guess I'm just lucky to be here a bit earlier.
Taking a breath here. Reflecting on all this, soaking it in. Before I head back to the grind. The grind I chose, the one that fuels me.